I'm sitting here, listening to a cover of Sexual Healing by Dave Matthews. It's good... I mean, I could go without the cheering and jeering audience, but it’s pretty! Very pretty. Then I started thinking about an appropriate time to play this. Only the obvious comes to mind, Sexual Healing, during Sexual Intercourse! Fantastic! But then... What do you expect would happen...? You know?
Is it "weird" to play it on a loop while amidst carnal lusts? Would there be some sort of Pavlovian dog effect after the coitus? Every time you would hear it, you'd get aroused and start gyrating in a less than publically accepted fashion. Then again. You don't have to put it on a loop, and you can make a soundtrack for nookie. But, what the fuck goes along with Sexual Healing? NOTHING! That’s what.
Nothing.
So now we're left with two options.
1.) No Sexual Healing in the soundtrack, and keep it to the Tribal beats and Pan flutes of South America, or perhaps indigenous yodeling of Scandinavian Sheep Herders....
Or
2.) No sound, no music. Nothing. Just the less than mellifluous sounds made of two hot sweaty bodies rubbing against each other.
I'll give you a second to think about it.
Sluuuurp. Thwack, Thwack Thwack, smack smack. Sluuurp, Squish, Squish Squish. Ouch, Oooh, HEY! STOP IT! NOT THERE! Thwack thwack thwack thumpthumpthump Squish squish.
It's not pleasant. Not in the least.
So let me pose this request to whoever reads this...
What is your 'Nookie-Track'? Because honestly... Having Welshmen singing drunkenly from an hour to up to three... Just doesn't sound sexy...
...
..
.
Less it's Ianto Jones...
*sigh*
Sexual healing is too cliche.
ReplyDeleteAlso: pan flutes? Really? I can't imagine doin-it to pan flutes. I CAN imagine having iced tea with my grandma to pan flutes. Well, that is, if I had a grandma.
My picks:
- any NIN, but specifically the Downward Spiral album, this is my go-to music and I can't listen to it without becoming a perv :(
- the Mezzanine album by Massive Attack
- some Tori Amos & PJ Harvey. One time I decided to just throw a whole Tori Amos album on, and ended up having to stop halfway through because no one is aroused by the song "China"
- Broken social scene. yeah.
Hm, I still say that it depends on the kind of sex you're wanting to have. If it's crazy wake up the neighbors 'monkey sex', I would say that my soundtrack would go like so:
ReplyDeleteCloser - NIN
Riot - Three Days Grace
Click Click Boom - Saliva
Animals - Nickelback (Hey, it's a hilarious song)
Forever - Papa Roach (As romantic as this list is gonna get)
Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
Land of Confusion - Disturbed
I would put Down With the Sickness in here, but honestly, who wants to listen to a mama rant while getting down? Total mood killer.
However, if lovemaking is what you're after, I would say any sappy Savage Garden, Eurythmics, Kosheen, etc song would work out. Maybe some Dido, definitely no Pat Benatar for the same reasons Down with the Sickness wouldn't be a good choice. If you're with someone that can keep going through Hell is for Children, you should run. Far far away.